Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
