Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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