Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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