If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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