I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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