Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
