I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
