i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
