She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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