My sheets look like a crime scene.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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