We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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