The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
