Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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