so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
