White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
