He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
