i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have fence marks all over my body
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
