her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
