Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
