He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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