Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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