woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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