i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
