Who did Billy Mays play for?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
