The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
