I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
