You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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