what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it glows. i had to have it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
