I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
