you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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