That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
