I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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