dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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