i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
