my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
