I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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