I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
