I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
