your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
