That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
