what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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