It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
