i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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