I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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