You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
