it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I looked at my own cervix.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
