He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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