Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
