we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
