Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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