Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
