I could have mohawked her pubes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize