Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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