She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
