its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
