Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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