he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
