Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
