I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
