If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
